Well I just started out on this section by adding some pictures about key moments/things in my life. I'll be adding more as the next fall approaches (the weather is too great to be a nerd right now!).
Here is my favorite dog Max, who is now about 8 years old and still very playful (By the way, his birthday is october 7th). I carried this picture in my high school agenda for many years.
The following is a picture of me taken in 1993, when I was first picked up by the DEA (Drug Enforcement Agency) for consuming and dealing large amounts of narcotics. As you can see from the facial expression, the cocaine was in full effect at this point.
After a long trial with many lawyers and prosecutors etc... the judge decided to put me into a correctional facility until I had reached the age of 18. Showed here is Section B-3, juvenile crime, narcotics division (anno 1998-1999). And yes, the person on the right with the smile on his face, is me. If you wonder why I am smiling, this was just months away from my 18th birthday! Notice the harsh and secure construction of the facilities at Dade County Prison (Florida). There was no way to get out...
After my release on march 5th, 1999, I fled the United States for a country where I could practice my 'illegal' activities without worries about law enforcement. For security reasons, I cannot tell you that the place where I moved to is Moscow. Here I am with a group of students at the Merstopf Halucinogen Research Facility. Most of these people are called 'students' but due to their lack of intelligent exhibition, they are used for human testing of my newly developed products. Notice some mental AND physical disorders due to the use of these drugs. Believe it or not, some specimens of these 'students' have actually mutated into animals after absorbing my drugs. The man in the middle with the blue shirt, is my friend Rachid. Though he also shows no signs of intelligent ability, he provides me with the connections I need in the Middle East. At the time of writing, I am just finishing off my research for a revolutionary new drug called Isabelovich which will give you the possibilities for the wildest and most exciting visions you've ever had.
Following is a piece of my passion for flight. It is amazing how efficient and unsuspecting it can be to carry narcotics inside the fuselage of low-flying aircraft. Much more detail will not be given about these flying objects, since I have heard that there are investigators who know what the internet is, and they just might stumble across this page after entering the word 'sex' in a Yahoo! search. These craft will remain un-identified and top-secret. Close your eyes when looking at the picture, please.
This guy is the fastest of the fleet, going up to speeds of about 100km/hr. I admit I am particularly proud of it. Notice the small openings in the wingtips and wheel pants where small amounts of narcotics can be inserted for smuggling purposes (no, the engine still runs on regular gasoline).
This flying object (shown at rest = not flying), is used for smuggling the goods in areas with concentrated areal defense systems. Capable of flying over 100km/hr it is also capable of the most extreme manoevers, including inverted flight at only a few centimeters above the ground (used for disabling surface to air missile operators). I nickname it 'The Chopper', due to it's fantastic ability to chop their head off.
Well this pretty much concludes chapter one of my life. You can expect to see more pictures of correctional institutions soon. Leaks from the pentagon have said that they are after me. But then again, when were they not??
Click here to see part 2!
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